Sunday, March 20, 2011

Where Do Cows Come From

I'm a homeschooling mom, which is a nice way of saying I know everything (or, I know how to Google really well).  The other day, my newly turned 13yo daughter, Scotti Jo, asked me, "So.  Where do cows live, like in the wild?"

Well, duh.  Cows don't live in the wild.  They live on Uncle Versy's farm in Brookhaven until he runs 'em to slaughter, then they live in our freezer in nice little packages of ground beef.  Everyone knows that. The girl knows nothing.  I told her this.

"No, seriously,"  she insists.  "Where did cows live before they were domesticated."

I hate big words, like "domesticated."  There's just no reason to muddy the waters with them fancy learning words, in my opinion.  But I gave it a thought or two.  Since we were in the car, I couldn't Google it, darn it all.  After a moment or ten, I had a moment of sheer brilliance.  I knew the answer!  AND I could turn the tables on her after all the years of her insisting she had the correct answer to my questions. 

So I answered her with all the snobby superiority I could muster.  "They came from the Garden of Eden, where God made them."

She rolled her eyes around in her head for a few minutes, probably trying to see her thoughts, sighed, and said, "Mama, I'm being serious.  Where are they from?"

"I am serious.  They're from Eden.  God created them on the sixth day.   And then Noah took them on the ark before the flood.  After that, it's anyone's guess.  I think Hindus worship them though."  She still doesn't believe me, but you know I'm right.  And this is just revenge for all the times I asked questions like "Why does the metal attract the magnet?" and the kids answer "'Cuz God made it that way."

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