Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Time To Let Go

It’s in my very nature to speak my feelings.  I don’t consider myself to be confrontational, but I have a hard time not saying what I feel, although I usually stew for a while before I let loose.  When I have tried to hold in negative feelings, it usually results in nuclear fallout.  Just ask my husband – he can tell you. 

Just recently, I’ve learned that sometimes all the talking in the world  just won’t work.  If the other person or persons doesn’t want to communicate, you can’t make them.  If they don’t care, well, then.   I came to this realization this past week.  Sometimes there’s just no more sense in trying to make a relationship work.  There is no relationship.  It should have been a sad day, but I felt a sense of freedom with only a touch of sadness. 

I’m sad mostly for my husband and kids, though they can make their own decisions.  But let’s face it – the woman of the family usually decides the way her family goes – where they vacation, who they see, etc.  If I don’t choose to go to visit certain people, Peter and the kids won’t go without me.  And I don’t choose to anymore. 

My daughter spent two hours waiting last week, for someone to show up that was supposed to want to see her.  By the time they showed up, I think she’d learned the same lesson the older three already have.  They stopped waiting years ago.  No phone call, email, or text to let anyone know they were running late.  Three hours late. My daughter is nine years old. Three hours is an eternity.

I’ll give the same communication to those people they have given to my family.  None.  My children are worth more.  My husband is worth more.  If they can’t see that, it’s their loss.

I hope that all four of my children are always secure in my love for them, and know that I love each of them individually.  They are who God made them, and that’s enough.  They are my blessings.    

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