Worming time

When I was about twelve, my mama got irritated at me one day and said, "You like animals better than people!"  Yeah, and your point is?  Some people think animals can't talk.  They haven't met mine. 

Last week, it was worming time for my little loveys. I don't guess I've introduced them properly here yet.  I'll just stick with horses today.  I have my special boy, Blitz.  I've had him 5 years, since we moved here, and he's 12.  Then there is Moonshine, who came one month later (named because as a paint, she glows in the moonlight).  She's 9 this year.  Diva, aka Cruella De Ville, has been here 4 years.  She's 12 this year.  And Sweet Baby Jane, already mentioned, had been hear a year and a half.  She's only 6.  We have new guy, only here 4 days as of today.  He's seven months, and today his name is Bo Duke.  Subject to change at any moment.  This story I'm about to tell you precedes Bo's arrival.

While saddling Jane for Ainsley to ride last week, I realized it was time to worm my preciousnesses.  I had wormers in the barn, so I grabbed one and shoved it in the corner of Janie's unsuspecting mouth.  Before she knew it, she was worm-free for two more months.  She rolled her only eye at me in disgust while hanging her tongue out gagging, but didn't have a whole lot to say since Ainsley led her off about then.  I'm sure she had a lot to think about though.  Just for the record, she is ridden with a hackamore, so at least the poor beleagured animal didn't have a bit in her mouth to deal with.

Just before Ainie took off, I had her put a rope on Diva over the fence, since Diva is wise to my ways and won't let me catch her if she knows I want her.  She's evil.  I also wormed her over the fence because those hooves are vicious things that leave marks.  She said only one thing.  "You *BLEEP*!"  She's recently been converted to Christianity and is working on her language.  Isn't that sweet?

I braved going into the pasture for the last two.  I figured I'd have a time of it with catching my sweet boy, but he surprised me.  I had wormers hidden in my pocket, and sometimes he can be a bit simple.  Wait, did I say that?  He's not simple; he's quite intelligent really!  Anyhoo, I catch Moon, who I must say is the easiest horse in the world to catch (she really is simple) and very easily give her the wormer. 

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!  What is that stuff!  It's icky icky icky!  Take it out! Icky!  Rub my tongue!" She has her tongue hanging out and is wagging it at me, begging me to wipe it off.  Diva is behind her going, "You idiot, she's been doing this every two months for five years and you haven't figured it out yet? Are you a special kind of stupid or something?"

"I'm special!"  Moonshine answers indignately.  I scratch Moonshine, croon in her ear a bit about how special she is and what a good girl she is until she calms down and the wormer is swallowed and all is well in MoonWorld, then I turn to my Blitzaroni, who I was already smart enough to have caught.

I pull the wormer out of  my pocket and take the cap off.  His head goes straight into the air, nose to heaven, "No you're not, not, not. No you're not, not, not."  I tell you what, that nose was ten feet high, and it wasn't budging.  Moonshine was fully recovered by now, and standing with her nose on my shoulder, cheering him on.  "Come on Blitz!  You're my man! You can do it!" 

"I won't do it. I won't won't won't."

Diva chimes in, "All men are sissies.  That's why I kick the fire out of any that try to come near me during my monthlies."

"Come on, Blitzy-Boy, you're Mama's big guy.  I know you can do it.  Remember last time you didn't worm, and the vet had to take that big tube and stick it in your tummy through your nose?  Huh? Wasn't that icky?  Be a big boy for mommy, kay?"

"No."

"Come on Blitz!  You're my hero!  You're my knight with a white stocking!  I'll share my hay pile with you!"  This from Moonshine again.

Finally, after a few minutes of rah rah-ing from me and the Mooner and insults from Diva, he let me worm him and was rewarded by a good scratch with the curry comb and some serious accolades about his manhood (even though he lost that man moons ago). 

So all my babies are worm free until the end of May, when they will not only be wormed again, but will get their spring shots as well.  Yippee!